by Jerome du Bois
You don't have to be a Christian to be offended by OnePlace, a venue south of Roosevelt Row which hosts rock bands, art exhibitions, and worship services --sometimes simultaneously-- all in the name of Jesus Christ. Phoenix New Times writer Niki D'Andrea touts this place as a hip, "cutting-edge" refuge for "seekers" dissatisfied with traditional Christian churches. But what I see is a pathetic crew of preacher wannabes desperately catering to the infantile sensibilities of a bunch of spoiled brats.
According to OnePlace's 30-year-old pastor Rob Tarr,
"We're moving over to worshiping in new ways. We worship a lot through our art. Art draws artists, so we draw those people in. The same with music."
One example of the "art":
Tonight, those walls are hung with photographer Monica Vega's "Women With Guns" series, which features hot babes pointing the barrels of various guns directly at the camera lens.
And for the Easter "Stations of the Cross" exhibition:
One of the largest paintings in the exhibition, Jeremiah Sazdanoff's Jesus Meets His Mother, depicts images of Christ and Mary behind a swarm of words and sentences, including "Crucify that m*ther f*cker." The bright yellow "f*ck" is the most prominent part of the painting. Even the "-er" is a more docile blue. [Censorship added.]
These pieces fit right in with the misogyny and snickering adolescent obscenity which occupy the shrunken minds and twisted hearts of the artists in the downtown Phoenix arts district. People who want to promote the worst within and among us. But what would Jesus do if confronted with this crap? Is that even a difficult question? If you think so, you might as well stop reading right now; I'm not writing this for you; I don't give a tinker's damn about you. Beat it.
Okay then, anyone left might ask, who are you writing for? That is a good question, actually. I've read D'Andrea's cover story through about six times since last Thursday, and it makes me angry every time. But why? I haven't been a Christian for many years, and I don't believe Jesus was God Incarnate. Could it be that I'm worried about the "cool kids" being misled by Rob Tarr, Adam Brooks, and Mandi McKinney? Hell, no. If those feckless followers can't tell the difference between human decency and human degradation, that's on them; they're already halfway down the tubes, and I'm not about to interrupt their slide to the seamy side.
Maybe I want to persuade the pastor and staff members of the errors of their ways? Fat chance. These bozos will trash any and all standards to keep their "ministry" going, to keep the "cool kids" coming, and, above all, to not offend them with the real challenges of life. I'm not writing to persuade anyone of anything.
Well, then, why bother?
The answer is, to witness for Jesus. Not Jesus as Christ, or Lord, or God, but my friend Jesus --the man with the burning heart, overwhelmed by his love for people, who passionately pleaded for us to seek the best within us. I just can't stand by silently and let these bastards try to drag him into their disingenuous and self-centered drama.
OnePlace "staffer" Adam Brooks teaches at Deer Valley High School. He's also pursuing a Master's of Divinity at Phoenix Seminary. This is how he talks:
"When we first started, there was a lot of opposition. There were a lot of people who talked a lot of stuff. They were like, Who are these people? They're trying to change things.'
"People were like, Oh, we can't do that, that's not a church. You guys are going to Hell,'" Brooks says. "The nicest way to put it is, we just silently gave them the middle finger and went on. We'll keep doing what we're doing."
I'm going, like, whoa, this peckerhead is eloquence personified. More:
"A lot of us are just sick of churches that make you follow these certain requirements, or you're just not welcome," Brooks says. "What kind of load of shit is that?''
And more:
"They're people who are close to their traditions," Brooks says. "We're saying, Screw tradition.'"
Spoken like a true Christian, eh?
And just what makes OnePlace so distinctively different from those old, stodgy, ossified traditional churches?
D'Andrea writes:
Smoke cigarettes? That's okay. Gay? Welcome. Got tattoos and piercings? So does everybody else. Having sex out of wedlock? Whatever.
Don't even believe in God? That's okay, dude. Hang out and catch a punk rock show or peruse the art, anyway.
"Peruse"? Sheesh. Anyway, there are a few items missing from this list, and the tells are in these omissions. What about those who smoke weed, smoke crack, snort coke, shoot heroin, or ruin themselves with crystal meth? Why does D'Andrea ignore these behaviors? Is D'Andrea asking us to believe these drugs play no role in the social profiles of Roosevelt Row and Grand Avenue? I sure don't believe it, though it's a situation devoutly to be wished.
Maybe OnePlace's mighty downtown ministry, now almost seven months old, has cleaned up the place in record time. But if so, why don't they brag about it? There's not one word in D'Andrea's article about illegal drug abuse.
And not many words about Jesus, either. Instead, D'Andrea spends over half the article writing about the music. Now, I've danced before the Lord, singing in tongues, with the best and the rest, but I never made the mistake of thinking that the music was the core of the Christian walk. The walk itself was the core.
Brooks says:
"Jesus went where there was the most need, where he could make the most difference. And that's what we're trying to do."
But I don't see much difference between OnePlace and, say, Modified or Paper Heart or Trunk Space. Everybody wants to pick up their guitar and play, just like yesterday, and yesterday, and yesterday. (Now appearing: The Droning Clones.)
Listen, here's the key to OnePlace, in Brooks's words:
"We want people to feel like they can come here and not feel judged, not feel depressed, not feel talked about -- to feel safe. Deep down safe."
What thin-skinned babies these congregants be! Jesus judged people left and right and up and down. And he "depressed" multitudes because they didn't want to change their ways, rise above themselves, and better themselves. And he sure was talked about, wasn't he? both behind his back and before his face. And he stood up to them all. Why? Because after a long and wrenching struggle, he found out who he was. And it left him anything but safe. Life isn't safe. It isn't about coddling the weak. But that is the core of OnePlace.
After Jesus stepped between Magdalene and the flying stones, she changed her ways. She did what she did before Love came to town. But when Love came to town, she rose above her self-humiliation and grew into a stand-up woman.
There are no such testimonies in D'Andrea's article.
In the ten-plus years I was a Christian, in about a half-dozen churches, everybody had a testimony, and was eager to share it. You couldn't shut them up about it. Born-agains are anything but shy.
In D'Andrea's article we read a lot of name-dropping of local musicians, about Mandi McKinney's idiotic bookings of hardcore bands (in a church?!), and quotes of half-baked lyrics --keeping your heart upon the altar is just the beginning, dude-- but in all of Rob Tarr's and Adam Brooks's chin music, they can't present a single person whose life has been transformed by their ministry. It's as if Jesus --whether God or human-- was never there, no matter how long or often they proclaim he's "in the house."
I think he's elsewhere, far removed from OnePlace.
Travel well, my friend. And watch your back.
Posted by Jerome at June 27, 2006 10:30 PM | TrackBack