The Tears of Things

What the Hippies Taught Me

by Catherine King

As people have always done, in order to make sense of, and deal with, Life's difficulties and challenges, I grasp for the right words of advice, comfort or confirmation to sustain me. Like a mantra of pain relief.

I dive deep into my cultural reservior, searching my language bank to come up with the appropriate words of wisdom. My favorite folk adages offer well-meaning warnings --Never let them see you cry, sweat, bleed, etc.-- that can, if heeded, save one lots of trouble in the future.

Sometimes, however, the wisdom of the words only becomes apparent after a debilitating incident has occured. Maybe at the hands of another person. Perhaps the damage was inflicted deliberately. Life had its way with you. In these cases the words can only help you sum up and draw conclusions.

It could happen that we see the truths behind certain cautionaries only after years of living fail to disprove them. Like the two particular pieces of ancient hippie wisdom that have stuck with me all this time. I just remembered them and carried them around; I didn't necessarily believe in their truth. Each of these two statements seem so radical on its face, that many people would not even bother to test their veracity. But, nonetheless, it must be said, over time my personal experiences have proven these unpopular and seemingly preposterous sayings to be true.

1. "You can't argue with a sick mind." How true, and how politically incorrect. Yes, 'way back then, in the golden age of love-ins and universal hugs, before the Islamists ruined it all, we believed everyone to be of goodwill. We really did. Insanely tolerant gibberish like, "Everybody's just doing the best they can," was taken for gospel in that foggy, stoneground land of unbounded love.

But that was then. In the years since, unscrupulous characters (and they're very common in today's "culture") have appropriated folks' natural desire to communicate honestly with each other. It's part of a philosophical stance called the "dispositions." Cynics that these characters are, they don't really believe that an issue can be "talked through" to understanding. But they know that the chumps who romantically believe in dialog, who seriously try to behave righteously, will feel obligated to keep trying to understand the ill-intentioned cynics, until the cows come home.

The truth is, there could many instances in which one is far better off to refuse to engage certain other people in what they call "dialog." It's not really dialog, it's only flypaper. They be knowing that, but they will still try to appeal to the idealistic chump's messianically delusional desire to "talk things through."

Talking things through is the only civilized thing to do (they will try to appeal to you), but if you fall for it, believe me, you'll be the only one involved who is trying to get to any mutual understanding. You just been had.

But not Jerome and me. Recently members of the Valley's Spoken Word Gang have been trying to tangle The Tears of Things in meaningless rhetorical webs. Bullies that they are, they nonetheless were naive enough to assume that we could be guilted into their Taliban-like perspective. Sadly, this thuggish gang ("artists" supported by City, County and State) recieves no resistance or objection to their anti-American, anti-individual, misogynistic and rascist speech and behavior. You got that? Nobody said anything.

Comments were open again on The Tears of Things, and I noticed that different members of the Word Gang kept coming on, each with his very own version of the same old fascistic and sexist comments. Why answer them one by one, over and over? They're not really paying attention anyway. The smart, and politically incorrect thing to do, would be to save one's breath.

So Jerome and I feel quite exhilaratingly, deliciously free enough to delete their bigoted threats. You got that right. We do not believe that we are obligated to give them a forum and we dare to put them on mute. Understanding is not really what the game is about. It's about not letting oneself get f*cked with.

Do not let them pull the "moral equivalency" trick on you. Once you have established that they are wrong, you do NOT have to listen to them. This is important to believe and hold in your consciousness because next they are going to tell you that you are the one who is sick. They are the sick individuals, and some of them are sick with evil.

The belief that one can find the right words to open another heart is a forlorn one. Noble, but it's never gonna happen. It doesn't work that way. Haven't I written about this before? If there is anyone out there who believes that if only they could craft their statement the right way, custom-tailoring it to the specific learning styles of each and every individual . . . You need to be very carefull with how you spend your energy. And heed my warning: these unscrupulous characters would turn your desire to communicate and understand and use it against you.

2. "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not really out to get you." Oh, they love this one. Because if you happen to believe it, or are inclined to believe it, then of course you seem crazy. This is when it is really important to believe in youself and the testament of your own experience. Because these m*th*rf*ck*rs are going to persecute you and then tell you you're crazy if you notice and worse if you complain. But they're the ones who made you paranoid, which automatically undermines everything you do and say.

Post-traumatic stress disorder is the only mental so-called illness caused by other people. Just remember that when they start bullying you, because these people have no bottom. They are experts at smelling blood.

And you're going to have to stand up for yourself, because there won't be anyone else, except your significant other if you're blessed like me, to object to your shoddy treatment, but this in no way means you're wrong. It's the culture.

This was brought home to us recently by the revelation that the key hypocrites at the Arizona Partnership for Innovation have been officially, and secretly, thwarting us for over four years. No wonder we watch our backs (and our drinks and dinners.) Obviously, in many cases, wariness is a stone cold virtue. When you come to this realization, you can give yourself a pat on the back and a big hug for taking such good care of yourself.

Then last week The Bernard got all huffy about our blog's criticism of his boss, Thug Jefe Falk, over and over, I'm afraid. All his bellyaching got me to wondering why it was acceptable to objectify me in at least 1, 2, 3 Valley media, when other women on the comfy side of Valley culture would never be submitted to such treatment. It must be said. I'm supposed to take it, but not them? Or I'm not supposed to notice and complain?

Maybe eventually they'll learn that I'm just going to keep on keepin on, but I'm sure not going to bother to teach them. I will say this much, though: The hippies were right about at least two things.

Posted by Jerome at August 28, 2007 08:15 AM | TrackBack